Oct 05, 2010Posted in 5 on the 5th by Ken
I’m participating in a series called, ‘5 on the Fifth’, in which you take five photos on the fifth, or days leading up to the fifth, of each month surrounding a theme. October’s theme is ‘Round’, a point I made clear to SML on Saturday morning; that I must find round things to take pictures of. We had made it to the west side of the city before he finally asked why, why I needed pictures of round things and I responded with, “I thought you’d never ask!”
It may be a tribute to our relationship that we never question each other’s motives, but I have a heavy feeling that’s it’s the cause of some of my problems. For example, this new wheat-free/gluten-free diet that I’m forcing myself onto, at some point I’m going to have to think of a reason for doing this that has nothing to do with my feelings.
SML first noticed the round television in this series, at an antique showplace guarded by a man with dreads in his hair. I most regret not taking a picture of a robot looking figurine made entirely of lighted spheres of glass, but I got too caught up in what my response would be if the guard asked what the hell I was doing.
Oct 03, 2010Posted in New York by Ken
I was feeling particularly goofy when I took this picture, having just finished a walk on the High Line Park and before that, a tour of some antique shows showcasing vintage porn and expensive lighting equipment. SML kept a large sphere of personal space around himself when we visited the antique shops, citing ‘BED BUGS!’ and then often directed my attention away from any new interesting antique shops as we walked west on twenty-third street. By the time we had reached the meat packing district I had become giggly at the absurdities of New York just in time for the passing of the Fairy Parade.
Any other day I think this would have been frightening, but it so happened that I had heard about this parade. When I come to think of it, I’m not exactly sure how I had heard about this, but it goes without saying that this is probably the crowd I belong to.
Although based on the size of the red fairy’s bicep I would have to consider being rejected altogether by this group for my much smaller bicep and lack of provocative style. In fact they wouldn’t even stand still for this picture, let alone invite me into their parade, and as soon as the traffic lights had changed and the rest of the fairies had joined them, they disappeared inside a trendy restaurant leaving me alone with, shall I say, a much more handsome subject.
Aug 15, 2010Posted in New York by Ken
Times Square is an overwhelming place, if not for the mass of people, but for the mentally deranged who find it amusing to scream in your face. I think at some level I identify with that, the screaming at strangers just to see their reaction. Although there is some disagreement between SML and I, between the words “Identify” and “Connected.” So it is up to you whether or not I feel connected to the people who scream, or just identify with their desire to let it rip. Maybe it’s both.
I dragged SML into the square yesterday because I wanted to see this enormous statue of the famous World War II photo. They staged a “kiss-in” sometime later, but we left early since SML and I both felt apprehensive about the Tin Man from the Wizard of Oz wandering the square, who just this last week is accused of stabbing someone with a screw driver.
Jul 11, 2010Posted in New York by Ken
I made my first trip to Washington Square this Sunday morning to see the arch, to take a couple of photos...to be tempted to jump into the fountain. I believe I would have jumped into the fountain had I not just this morning semi-successfully ironed the only shirt I own that will make SML exclaim, “You’re dressed cuter than me!”
This week hasn’t been particularly fantastic for me, mostly because of that obnoxious heat wave that shat upon the city early this week. I would have obsessed much more about the heat and humidity had I not been nervous about an upcoming appointment with my new doctor, what with all of the examining and questioning of my beverage choices.
Moving to new health insurance is always difficult because you deal with more expensive premiums, you don’t know your doctor or the clinic, and you have to explain to each new doctor that although it says very plainly in your records that you have mild asthma, that you do in fact have deadly asthma. I changed my story a little bit this time and added notes about cousins, moles, and cancer and “Look at how many moles I have, and that coin-sized one on my back? IT ITHCES.”
A couple of scenarios were going through my head at this time, like maybe he was going to laugh and say that my moles looked fine, that this was all in my head. And he sort of did, except that he mentioned he’d just take off the mole instead. “I’m going to do two things for you today: Steroids! And I will take off that mole!”
The steroid shot was fine. I think. I did question him about it as he got closer with the needle. “How exactly will this shot allow me to breathe on a four-mile run?” And as he was preparing another needle, a needle I presume to numb my coin-sized mole, I finally realized: HE’S GOING TO CUT ME.
It was in that moment of terror that I must have collapsed because the only thing I remember next was being startled awake by a man in a lab coat. It was an awkward moment or two before I realized where I was, and an even longer period of time having my pulse monitored and discussing my irrational fears. We mutually agreed to go our separate ways that day, but I suspect I’ll be back in four to six months with a self-diagnosed case of latrophobia.
Jun 23, 2010Posted in New York by Ken
It’s been nearly four weeks since I moved to New York City. This week marked the beginning of SML’s new job and also the beginning of very, very long days spent watching Sex and the City with my cat. Those people who enjoy working? I do not understand them.
This picture was taken the first week that we moved into Manhattan, just near the halfway point on the Brooklyn Bridge. It was taken on a humid day, one of many humid days that would eventually drive me to the brink of insanity, then to a Home Depot for an air-conditioner, and then a same-day delivery order NO MATTER THE COST.
SML insists that I’m the hardest person to move with because I get mean and mouthy about stupid things. But I just want to point out, for the record if there is one, that when our couch could not fit through the tiny door that is the entrance to my teeny apartment, I kept myself calm and collected. And when it cost more than the couch itself to be taken away to god knows where? Charge it to the credit card!
And just outside of my apartment where the ceiling is collapsing? Right now as I’m typing this? SEE HOW CALM I AM?
In all seriousness, the humidity is absolutely the worst part about living New York City. The best part, however, are all of those adults walking around the streets with ice cream cones. I’ve never seen that before, I feel like I’m living in an amusement park and those yellow cars that pick people up are really just bumper cars.
Apr 13, 2010Posted in spring by Ken
Spring hit Boston early this year, much earlier than I remember it happening last year when I gained fifteen pounds in what I imagine was my attempt at staying warm. I took this picture an entire week ago from Commonwealth Avenue, on what I’ll probably remember as the best day of the year.
Obviously I love spring so I won’t say much more about it. I think it must be everyone’s favorite part of the year, too, because I haven’t even heard of one stabbing in or around my neighborhood.
Apr 05, 2010Posted in Apple by Ken
SML and I waited around all day on Saturday for our pre ordered iPads to delivered via UPS. Out of the two of us, SML was the most anxious, most antsy...most angry when UPS changed their online status to ‘INCORRECT ADDRESS’. He was on the phone with a UPS representative before I could even read the status for myself using words like, “UNACCEPTABLE.”
We’ll never really know what happened in Watertown Massachusetts that day, but I’m certain it involved Microsoft Windows.
That’s a joke. Sort of.
After we had waited the entire day, pacing, reading tweets of other Apple fanatics, I suggested we go downtown and just buy the F’ing thing. It seems crazy in hindsight but at the time the anxiety was causing me to tug at what little bits of hair I have left. Waiting until Monday was absurd! Like passing up a three for one deal on a quart of Girl Scout Cookie ice cream.
SML readily admits to this fact, that we purchased four iPads, retelling the story of our missing UPS delivery and our hasty trip to the Apple Store. I’m just upset that I wasted that entire day waiting for UPS when I could have wasted it watching Sex and the City Season Six, Part II on my iPad instead of that awful 37” television in my living room.
Mar 26, 2010Posted in spring by Ken
If you’ve been following this blog, god bless you, you’ve probably noticed that I’ve been a little distant. It’s not your fault, I’m not trying to avoid you.
My best excuse is that my life has been incredibly boring. I don’t have a single thing to complain about; this past winter was mild, a wine store is just around the corner, and I have fabulous dentist who on each visit teaches me to floss. If I can’t complain about something what else is there, I mean, really.
This photo was taken in the Boston Public Gardens a week ago, a week ago when it was seventy degrees and I was resisting the urge to sun bathe on the driveway outside of my apartment. It was such a fantastic day, my favorite time of the year in fact, when finally the world is alive again and there’s chance of encountering a wild turkey on the streets of Brookline.
SML and I recently made a decision to move to New York City so I’ve been sentimental about Boston ever since. I really haven’t said just how much I admire Boston and I don’t want my negative complaining to get in the way of just how beautiful and friendly the city really is. Boston Common! Faneuil Hall! THE ESPLANADE! I could go on, and on, and on...well, you get the drift.
BUT...Boston is no New York. It's no Florida either, but that's another story.