Even the Salt Lake City Arts Festival last weekend felt boring. My highlight of that night was when Jesse wrote a message in the five inches of dust on my end table. Which is boring and also really embarrassing. I spent the next day cleaning and trying on SML’s shoes. My apartment was filthy and my feet are wide.

Around this time of year I usually join something, a group of some kind to ease the boredom that is starting to feel increasingly devastating. But this year, I’m stumped. I can’t think of a darned thing to join. NAMBLA is out of the question and I probably shouldn’t join a baseball league since hard objects are attracted to my forehead. That rule also applies to anything church related because more than once has a bible been thrown in my direction.

It’s really important that I find something soon. IKEA has taken over my life and it’s not good for my Saturdays or my pocketbook.

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