Growing up as a nerd, I’ve never been fortunate enough to have a date at high school dances like Homecoming or Morp. It wasn’t just an awkward phase; I still can’t find a date five years later. When I decided that I wanted to participate in the Heart Ball for the Heart Association at the Grand America Hotel in Salt Lake City, I elected to take my mother instead of going alone. It was really fun to introduce my Mom to some of my friends and hear her say, “I feel like I’m in the movies.”

Before the end of the night, my mother made a comment that she hoped my Grandparents never found out about this Blog. I’m assuming it’s because they’re very religious, but I figure if they can handle having an inadequate dentist as a son-in-law, they can certainly handle a sometimes-awkward grandchild who mostly likes to write about nothing.

Instead of discussing it further, I tried to change the subject but felt startled when my mother said, “You know? I dated four gay men.” There was a momentarily silence as I’m sure we were both trying to figure out what her point was. I didn’t know whether to sympathize by saying, “Me too. It was awful” or if I should congratulate her for finally finding a straight man that resulted in the birth a boring Blog writer.

I didn’t say anything and just kept driving; wondering if my mother ever used to wear leather pants when she was my age. I bet she did.

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