My favorite part of springtime isn’t the abundance of young lovers that walk around the city, holding hands in such a way that when they swing their arms back and forth it could knock out a small child. My favorite part of springtime is actually seeing the tulips at Temple Square in Salt Lake City. And that’s because I have Dutch heritage; or because I’m actually a girl pretending to be a guy that happens to act like a girl that really likes tulips.

During the day, Temple Square is filled with men in business suits and women that wear nylons. They come from the LDS Church’s Office Building that’s located in the same square where I’m sure they pray before meals and snacks. Seeing all of these men dressed in white shirts and ties reminded me of the Clones from Star Wars.

A recent post might suggest to readers that I’m no longer an active Mormon because of my sexuality, which really isn’t true. I stopped going to church long before I decided on gender preferences and decided even sooner that I wasn’t going to serve a religious mission.

Leaving the church wasn’t a conscious decision. I didn’t wake up one morning and shout to the world, “Today is the day I’m leaving!” I didn’t get drunk, smoke a lot of weed and tie myself naked to the temple doors, either. Alarms didn’t sound when I wasn’t found in the Sacrament meetings, and nobody came looking when I wasn’t in Seminary class. When I finally did stop going completely, I wasn’t surprised that dogs weren’t unleashed to find me.

So what’s my point? The tulips are like totally hawt this year, and I like totally got off on them. OMG.

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