I’m really into reading right now because I have to do my laundry in front of strangers. It helps to not have to look at anyone in the eye when you can hide your face behind a book. You never know when someone is going to hold you up at gunpoint to steal your Hanes.

My most recent book is called “Body RX”, which is a six-pack prescription program by Dr. Connelly. The book is pretty straightforward: Don’t eat gross things that make you fat. This isn’t as easy as it sounds because I love gross things. Gross things like Twinkies, hot dogs, ice cream…CROWN BURGER. I sometimes consider taking up a part time job at place like Crown Burger for benefits like a discount on pastrami burgers.

One thing that this book stresses the most is the use of high fructose corn syrup in our modern diets. The author believes that the introduction of this sugar substitute into the food supply in the 80’s is one of the direct causes to the rise of obesity in the United States. If you search for this subject on the Internet, there’s a lot of discussion and questions raised because it’s like Global Warming: Nobody knows for sure.

Better safe than sorry. How cliché, thank you, I know. For the next couple of weeks I’m going to try out this new diet by avoiding foods with high fructose corn syrup and eating lots of protein to burn fat and gain muscle. This will be really important in case I really am held up at the Laundromat for my underwear.

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