Week Ending April 28

German food really is tasty.

On Sunday, I had a family dinner at my sister’s home in Syracuse. It was worth the drive because my mother prepared schnitzel and my beverage was Mountain Dew. It was also discovered that my mother still babies me just a bit; and I have no problem with that whatsoever.

Donuts really can make you happy.

After most Mondays, I feel like not waking up the next morning. In order to combat the onslaught of negativity, I purchased six chocolate donuts at the dirty Albertsons downtown. Donuts are just one of the many things I self-medicate with.

Ken is still too fat to wear a Speedo.

When I went to swimming practice on Tuesday with B.A., she suggested that I buy a Speedo. I declined because I really don’t want to feel my love handles poking out at the sides. I’m not the only person that would barf seeing that.

Ken is the new Jared.

The Subway on 4th South in Salt Lake City is my favorite because it feels and looks Urban. On Wednesday night, I recognized most of the people in the sandwich shop who also ordered the Special. Most of them were old and had breathing devices; so I took a puff on my inhaler.

Ken isn’t a prostitute; or is he?

Since Utah is a small town, I shouldn’t be surprised that someone found me on an adult personals website over a year ago. I should also not be surprised that it is still haunting me today. Nobody really knows what I was thinking except for myself so I thought I’d set the record straight. Yes, I was on the website. Yes, I wanted to hookup with someone. No, I didn’t hookup with anyone. But I did receive over 200 e-mailed “requests” during the week or two that I was on there. Go me.

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