“The common english language”

Just after SML and I left the Farmer’s Market on Saturday, we got into an argument over where a certain symbol originated. In the middle of my story about how I inadvertently joined a gang, we erupted into spat about who was more condescending. At the end of the argument I awarded myself ‘Asshole of the year’, because no other person can quite overreact the way I do. Except for maybe Paula Abdul.

Tea Party

In an effort to be more social, SML and I started to having ‘Coffee Dates’ every Sunday to talk about life, love, and the latest people in our lives we’d like to see die. It’s almost as much fun as my dates with Cole at iHop, except for that I don’t talk and I pretend to not have an opinion about anything other than how much Sweet ‘N Low goes in my coffee. This coming Sunday I plan on branching out a bit and declaring my preference in deodorants.

“What was that bang?”

Because I was so excited for a new television, I didn’t even notice that the world outside of my apartment closely resembled many scenes from The Day After Tomorrow. After the power had gone out, SML and I decided to head outside to find some grub. Once outside both of us exclaimed, “Hey! Where did that fence go?”

“Let them eat cake”

On Thursday night just after the sixth inning at the Bee’s baseball game I suggested to SML that we, “stay till half-time and then go home and eat cake.” SML looked at me with a curious expression and said, “There’s no half-time in baseball!” And because I hate being wrong, I wanted to look it up to make sure that there wasn’t a break after 4.5 innings.

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