“Where’s the cake?”

SML’s parents were out of town on Sunday, but we ended up going to their home anyway to have dinner with his siblings. We brought homemade gluten-free chocolate cake, but when it came time for dessert nothing happened. I repeat, NOTHING HAPPENED. While in the kitchen a cake was begging to be digested, everyone sat in their chairs talking about stocks and whether or not everyone had dental insurance. I may have actually been squirming out of control because it took all of my will power to not scream out, “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? LETS EAT!”

“I found it”

In the mornings I tend to say phrases like, “I found you” and “I’m ready” in a high-pitched mouse-like voice. It’s hard to describe the varying tones and it took me at least two hours to really master the technique after I heard SML doing it in the shower. On Tuesday night I said, “I FOUND it” in my special way in front of an Office Depot employee and customer. SML’s entire face seemed to twitch and without smiling he said, “You are so weird.” I think he meant to say, “You are way too comfortable being you.”

“You can’t deny the return of the King”

For three days or so, SML kicked my ass at Tennis Wii. SML’s reign didn’t last long however, because eventually I remembered how to hold the Wii remote. The best part about all of this is the noise SML makes whenever I score. It goes something like, ‘Gobble Gobble!” and then he spanks himself as some sort of sadistic punishment. And wow, it just never gets old.

The scene of the crime

When I was single and considerably younger, Cole and I would frequent the iHop to talk largely about wanting to quit our jobs and which Provoan I should file an anti-stalking injunction against. We both returned to iHop on Wednesday night, but unfortunately our conversation centered on Cole’s recent breakup. Wishing you the best of luck, Cole.

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